Is this really happening? For over two years now I’ve been thinking about leaving this place; this town that turned into my house of cards. I never felt like I belonged here. And I came face to face with my darkest shadows, most vile demons. I couldn’t carve a nest or get cozy. So I began plans to mosey. But I didn’t think it would actually happen. Now all of a sudden the wheels are in fast motion and it looks like I’m returning to my hometown after 20 years away, at the end of the month. It all feels like a dream. Slightly nightmarish. There are landmarks and pillars around me that I have grown attached to, that I care deeply for and love. Just as I’m starting to take my own place and dive into deeper conversations, just as I’m starting to know you better and know that I want to know you more, the opportunity to leave is upon me. And I don’t think I can stop it. Shhhit. Am I really leaving Sackville!? I’m roaringly overwhelmed by that. It all seems so sudden. My beautiful tiny circle. You’ve been good to me. I see you all and you matter to me, so much more than I’ve been able to say or show in my hermitness. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. I don’t know if I’m going to the right place. I’m not even sure why I’m leaving anymore, or if I should post this cause it’s making it real. Christ, my stomach is churning, my heart is aghast. I’m going to seriously miss you, you quaint, fly little villagers you. If you see me walking by and the tears are in my eyes, DON’T LOOK AWAY! Hug me for chrissakes!! Tell me something I’ve never heard before. Tell me I’m not completely crazy, tell me there are no mistakes, and whatever you do, don’t forget about me.